Fight Club

Fight Club is a sexist portrayal of workplace dissatisfaction. I don't care to hear arguments about why women are inessential to the Fight Club plot because I don't care. I understand that it's just a story and it's completely fantastical but I still have a lot of issues with this movie and a lot of it has to do with the lack of women in this movie as well as its representation of the only female character.

Tallulah

Once the audience realizes the main plot of Tallulah, the movie really becomes a question of who is going to get in trouble for this, because in this (a little bit ridiculous) movie, there is just no way it'll end with the child being returned to her mother while also none of our main characters getting in legal trouble. That said, I do think this movie does a good job at keeping the audiences attention even though the ending is pretty predictable.

Cafe Society

Cafe Society is an amazingly entertaining movie. I love the way Woody Allen tells this story; there's so much more to make an interesting story out of when the timeline of the story covers a whole half a lifetime. Woody Allen proves that it's absolutely okay to only hit the main parts and the story still works.
He does an amazing job directing his actors-- there is so much good chemistry between them and the intended vibe flows seamlessly throughout the movie because all the actors are on the same page.

Suicide Squad

Yes, Suicide Squad is as bad as critics are saying, but that doesn't exactly mean that it's completely un-enjoyable. Yes, it's a jumbled mess, but it's still fun for fun sake if you like that sort of movie. It's a good movie to shut off your brain for two hours and enjoy fun colors and familiar actors and loud exploding fight scenes-- don't expect much beyond that.

Captain Fantastic

This is hands-down the best movie I've seen all year. I cannot recommend Captain Fantastic enough. I was thinking about this movie for weeks after I'd seen it, purely because it's filled with so much that I want to aspire to. It's something I've never seen before and it's executed in a way that was completely new to me. A family living in the wilderness and completely independent of the outside world although they are totally aware of it-- I can't think of a better plot to convey the important messages that Captain Fantastic does. It is my quintessential family film. Nothing in this movie was bad. I probably loved this movie so much because I agree with pretty much all of the ideology that is presented to be our main characters' beliefs. I love that they only use bows and knives to kill animals. I love that, while they have intense physical training and are incredibly fit, they also have scheduled time to meditate. I love that they are taught to resist 'the man' but in a smart and non aggressive way. I love this hippie, hyper-intelligent, rouge family and you should too.

Swiss Army Man

My roommate and I have been waiting for Swiss Army Man to come out since before 2016 even began. I was so excited to see this movie I checked my Fandango app almost every week starting in April even though I knew the release date. Paul Dano and Daniel Radcliffe together in the same movie? Just thinking about it was blowing my mind. As much as I was neutral about Ruby Sparks, I love Paul Dano. And I watched "Thorns" and realized Daniel Radcliffe is so much more than his Harry Potter persona. This kid is a weirdo and Paul Dano is a weirdo and I was dying to see them in a movie together. I showed the trailer to this movie to so many people I created a niche group of people who were obsessed with this movie at my college. Every weekend I was hoping there would be some cool, early release around me that I could go see. My friends and I were so hyped to see this movie and let me tell you, it did not disappoint.

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

Allow me to preface this with the fact that I knew how this movie was going to end before I started watching it, and I meant to watch this movie because I felt like I wanted to cry, I just didn't think it would be nearly as sad as it actually was. The main character is the son of some level of Nazi commander and they move to a new house with a concentration camp basically in their back yard. It's not like, right there in their backyard but they can smell the people burning and they can see the smokestacks and the smoke that comes from when they burned the Jews. So this  little boy naturally wants to go exploring and finds this concentration camp but of course he doesn't know what the hell it is. He finds this little boy sitting by the fence and he's wearing the uniform Jews had to wear in concentration camps and that's where the name The Boy in the Striped Pajamas comes from. This movie doesn't end well at all and I suggest if you have any love for children don't watch it. Don't even try it because you will want to die at the end of this movie.

Nightcrawler

NIghtcrawler made me feel the same way American Psycho and A Clockwork Orange made me feel. I felt slimy afterwards and I felt like the friends I watched it with and I should go do something good in the world-- contribute to society. This movie was a piece that made me think a lot about something I have never even thought to consider before-- crime scene videography. It also makes you think about the gross underbelly of media in general and just how slimy it might be. The key to this movie is ti makes the audience think "is this really what's happening out there?" This movie is completely bonkers. I genuinely believe Jake Gyllenhaal is a little bit crazy because after watching Donnie Darko and now this; I was shocked. He is, in addition to probably being a little bit crazy, an amazingly versatile actor who commits to everything he does. Every little crazy thing he did in this movie was 110% believable; that's why it was so jarring.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

I will preface this with the fact that I do not like Star Wars. I've seen two of the originals, none of the prequels and I wasn't going to see this one but it happened to be playing at our local theater where we could get in for $1. I also happened to be craving buffalo wings and my friends wanted to see this movie so we went. If Adam Driver hadn't been Kylo Ren I would have felt no inclination to see it, but since I love Adam Driver in about everything he's done, I thought why not and I could get some awesome food out of it. I guess I can understand this being called the movie event of the year, but in no way is this the movie of the year.

Home

Most adorable animated film I've seen in such a long time. The alien in the movie calls the pet cat "pig-cat" for Christ sake. It's just filled with the cutest characters and has the cutest plot ever. And Rihanna and Jim Parsons voice the main characters so how could that not possibly be amazing, I'm telling you, this movie is all kinds of great. And maybe critically this movie is not the best but in terms of pure entertainment this movie hits the nail on the head for me. Jim Parson's voice and the soundtrack just bring my mood up. The general vibe to this movie is "feel good".

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Sweeney Todd is a funny, scary Les Miserables. The dark aesthetic, the time period, the returning-criminal-looking-for-redemption character, the poverty, the weird daughter dynamic, the singing-- all reminded me of Les Miserables, however, it was dark and freaky. It also started out as a musical, like Les Miserables. The ending of this movie really reminded me of Crimson Peak, or of a dark Guillermo Del Toro ending.
I didn't know what I was expecting this movie to be. All I knew going in was that there was a barber that killed his clients and, who I thought was his wife, made meat pies out of them and their business was booming. That's all I thought I knew about this movie, and then Sacha Baron Cohen showed up and Alan Rickman is the main villain and I was confused but also simultaneously pulled in. Also like Les Miserables, I was not expecting so much singing in this movie. More so in Les Miserables, but still there are a lot of songs that get thrown in at weird times. It's weird to compare Sweeney Todd to Les Miserables but the comparisons reveal some interesting similarities.

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

At one point, Crazy, Stupid, Love. was my favorite movie. And you'll notice, this movie also has Steve Carell in the starring role. This is the only romantic comedy I've ever really loved, and it's probably the only romantic comedy I'll ever really love. This movie is so good because it doesn't rely on stupid tropes to fuel the plot. This movie has so much going on it in and it's all concentrated in the plot. The music, the wardrobe, the shot composition, all fairly unimpressive; They're fine, but unimpressive. This movie fully relies on plot and acting and it's amazing. It's what every romantic comedy wants to be-- clever and unassuming-- but it's actually that. It's actually funny, there's actually something to be learned, the acting is great, it deals with a real life situation not some stupid fairy tale. I love this movie and if you don't like it I likely don't like you.

Crimson Peak

Guillermo Del Toro has outdone himself again with this visual masterpiece. My friend had this movie and the second I found out dead people were involved I asked them if it was scary-- they said no and my official verdict is that they need to learn the difference between a scary movie and a not scary movie because this movie is just a step down from Mama. And in fact, the ghosts in this movie moved and interacted with the characters in a very similar way the ghost "Mama" did in Mama, so I'm beginning to think Guillermo Del Toro has a style to his demon or ghost characters and, while it freaked me out immensely, I really really enjoy it.

Mad Max Series

There is a movie theatre in my city where, if you go at 10:00pm and have a student ID, tickets are $1.00. They just finished a four week long Mad Max Marathon, showing the next Mad Max in the series each week. Me and three of my friends went every Friday night at 10:00pm for four weeks straight with everything building up to Mad Max: Fury Road in 3D. After seeing the first Mad Max we all kind of accepted that we were just going so that we could make it to week four aka Fury Road week. And honestly, if those tickets had been more than $1 each it wouldn't have been worth it, but they were, so it was an experience worth having.

Deadpool

Deadpool is an interesting specimen of movie because the main reasons I went to see this was 1. the action sequences were going to be amazing and 2. I want to support R-rated Marvel movies-- I was not expecting to really like this movie and yet, I really liked this movie. Most of the promo you see is a lot of sex jokes and that really turned me off of this movie pretty quick, but the majority of his jokes in the movie are just him being an asshole, and I find that super funny. I think this movie, or at least the humor in this movie, will likely be a hit or a miss for a lot of people.

Book to Movie Adaptations

As a rule I do not see (most) book to movie adaptations. There is nothing worse than a bad book to movie adaptation. I nearly cried when I saw that they had made a movie of my favorite book series, The Maze Runner, because I saw what they did to Twilight, My Sister's Keeper, The Hunger Games, Harry Potter, The Hobbit, every Stephen King novel EVER and every other damn book that I love.  I swear a part of my heart dies every times one of my near and dear books get a movie adaptation. I especially have an issue with the way they adapt YA novels, but even some books that are not of the YA genre these same things happen.
There are movies like Wild, and The Big Short that are books based on real life events. I have not had an issue with any of these type of adaptations and largely I haven't read any of the books these kinds of movies are based on, so I realize I have positively reviewed many movies based on books, that are based on real life events, but these aren't the one's I am really talking about.

Spotlight

Spotlight is a movie that throws you against a wall, coddles you when it realizes you're hurt, then punches you in the face when it sees it's just a few scratches--it is absolutely brutal on your emotions. I did not actually want to see this movie, I didn't think it looked that interesting. Granted, I didn't actually know the extent of what this movie was exploring. I was not aware of just how big this story was. I think Spotlight executed this touchy topic really appropriately. It's done with a lot of care; that isn't to say that they tiptoed around the reality of the situation. There were parts where some of the things discussed were hard to listen to, but they were handled with a sensitive tone. I guess what I am saying is so many words is that, despite the situation being pretty gruesome and, frankly, gross, the information presented was not done to gross out and appall the audience. It was more to inform and the events were not exploited in order to increase shock value for the audience. I think that was extremely respectful, while also trying to inform the audience of the reality.
This movie points a spotlight on the section of the Boston Globe called "Spotlight" that in 2001 investigated the sex-abuse scandals in the Roman Catholic Church and attempted to expose those who are committing these crimes, and in fact, the Spotlight team divulges more than they ever thought they would.

The Revenant

This movie was goddamn phenomenal (and based on a true story). The shot composition, the landscape, the dialogue (or lack thereof), the way the storyline is pieced together, the actual execution of filming--it's all amazing. Leonardo DeCaprio is amazingly expressive in this movie and his lack of dialogue does not impede on his ability to emote and tell the audience what is going on. I thought if there was going to be one weak performance it would have beenWill Poulter, who is usually cast as the villain in YA movies. He actually played his character phenomenally well. Adding to the amazingness of this movie was the fact that every performance was on point. They were all on target with the tone of the movie; not one of the performances diverted from the vibe everyone else was giving off. Every actor was on it in every scene. This movie did an incredible thing where they pulled all these actors who have had a big few years as side-characters or as co-stars (with the exception of Leo DeCap) and put them all in a parts where each of their talents are exemplified and made into an incredibly compelling performance. It was so breathtaking how brutal this movie actually was as well; the director makes you sit through a whole lot of hard things only to deliver redemption to the audience in the last hour.

The Big Short

The Big Short is a really inventive movie; it's like The Wolf of Wall Street mixed with Too Big To Fail. It was super funny and super dark-- often at the same time. The Big Short's most impressive accomplishment is making our mysterious stock market seem understandable to the normal movie goer. With all the talent that's packed into this movie there's no real place for weak performances, however, I was surprised how Christian Bale, Brad Pitt, Steve Carrell and Ryan Gosling were advertised as the main characters when really I thought Steve Carrell and Christian Bale were the actual main characters and Brad Pitt was just there to aid two characters played by virtually unknown actors. Ryan Gosling reminded me of a less egotistical version of Leonardo DeCaprio in The Wolf of Wall Street. I wouldn't have been so confused in the beginning if the previews and trailers for the movie reflected the actual cast and their roles. In the trailer I saw it showed two of the main characters played by lesser known actors once together and one alone. In both shots they just look like bank executives and neither of them speak at all so I didn't appreciate it when these two guys were all in my movie when I really just wanted to see the four big wig names.

The Hateful Eight: 70mm Roadshow

Inglorious Bastards is still my favorite Tarantino movie but The Hateful Eight comes in a close second. The thing with this movie is it's really just Tarantino patting himself on the back the whole time. It is a really amazing movie, but at times I was thinking, this is just for him isn't it? There is nothing unoriginal about this movie, like most of his other movies. Every little twist that happens throws you off a little bit more; it's so filled with events that will throw you, that the best summary someone can get without spoiling anything is that a bounty hunter has caught a woman who is worth $10,000 and due to a blizzard, is forced to stop in a log cabin where seven other people also congregate because of the blizzard. The basic conflict of the movie is that this bounty hunter is super paranoid that someone is working with his captive woman to set her free. Any more explanation past that would ruin some sort of revelation in the film.

The Danish Girl

I was really unhappy that this movie has only received the equivalent to a C rating. Eddie Redmayne and Alicia Vikander gave incredible performances. I personally think Alicia Vikander gave a more diverse performance but Eddie Redmayne's performance was an incredible one in the way that he portrayed two people who, in a way, had two completely different personalities. I don't know how accurate this movie is when it comes to Lili Elbe's relationships, but since it is based off a novel 'm assuming most of the main conflict is accurate.

The Shining

This movie was an abomination as an adaptation to the book by Stephen King. I respect the shit out of a good Stephen King movie-adaptation, or that is, I would, if there was one that I could actually like remotely, or even at all. The only Stephen King adaptation I've ever loved was The Stand, which is a three part, 90 minutes each, Netflix series so they could get every damn detail correct. That's my favorite book ever and thank jesus it was good or else I would have cried. I know now that when (if) I watch a Stephen King adaptation that I should not expect much past 'meh'.

2016 Golden Globe Awards

I watched the Golden Globes last night and boy was it underwhelming and particularly disappointing. I don't think the Golden Globes did some of the best movies of 2015 much justice. Some of the award presenters were super awkward and weird. There was that awkward Jonah Hill bear joke where Channing Tatum said Jonah couldn't make it but the bear from The Revenant would stand in for him and Jonah came up in a bear hat thing. It wasn't that funny except for when Jonah Hill mentioned that "...theres a few directors that I would like to claw tonight--just kidding but remember I am a bear" I thought that was pretty funny but otherwise a lot of the audience was not feeling it. It was also awkward when Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell presented because it seemed like they were trying to stay on stage for as long as possible and nothing they were doing was funny. However, Andy Samberg and, surprisingly, Jim Carrey were super funny in their presenter speeches; they were probably the best along with America Ferrera and Eva Longoria. It certainly wasn't the greatest award show I've ever watched but it definitely wasn't the worst.
The list of awards are not in the order they were presented in.

2001: A Space Odyssey

This movie was first, out the ass weird, then out the ass dull as nothing happens for 45 minutes straight, then it was out the ass weird again, then it turned trippy as all hell and then ended on a solid horrifying note. This movie, much like A Clockwork Orange, had me considering whether or not I was going to have to bail on everything. I am not 100% sure why I was so scared by the end of this movie but I was not coping well with everything that was happening.
Also when we decided to watch it I thought we were watching Armageddon with Bruce Willis and Jake Gyllenhaal, so you may understand my confusion when there was twenty minutes of dudes dressed up like monkeys doing literally nothing at the start of the movie.

A Clockwork Orange

I was horrified at this movie. I couldn't imagine this movie coming out now, and I didn't even think something like this would be allowed to be produced in the 70's. It was horrifying to watch and there were more than a few times when I thought I would have to bail on the whole thing. I would suggest not watching this movie alone; I watched it with my roommate and we stopped halfway through and finished it another day. It's just too damn much of a burden for one person to hold on their own--please watch this movie with someone else. My roommate told me that everything was supposed to make sense in the end, like, there was supposed to be this big revelation and audiences everywhere where supposed to go "OH that's why everything happened and why everyone was so terrible" however, we finished the movie and I was left just as disgusted and confused as the rest of the movie.