American Ultra

Stoner Kristen Stewart and stoner/assassin Jesse Eisenberg? And they're a cute stoner couple? Yes please. So in. I was so in from the second I heard anything about this movie. Maybe it's because I've been dying to see Kristen Stewart finally be awesome in a movie because I think she's awesome in general. Maybe it's because I saw The End of the Tour the same week I saw this movie and, as I aforementioned in my review about The End of the Tour, I was not a fan of Jesse Eisenberg's character in it and I really wanted to see him in this innocently clueless role. Regardless of why this movie caught my attention so quickly, it did, and I was a thousand times satisfied with what I saw.

If this movie can even be considered a spy movie, it's the best kind of spy movie. Give me goofy-ass, long haired, pot-smoking Jesse Eisenberg who doesn't really know anything about anything, and then give him some badass CIA skills and you've got easily the most entertaining 100 minutes for a great weekend night. American Ultra gives the least amount of shits about realistic situations, so yeah, you do have to just kind of watch it and not really think about the plot holes, and suspend your disbelief  for a few seconds to really get the most out of the movie, but if you do that, it's very satisfying.

1. Action
   The action in this movie was phenomenal. Rather over-blown and pretty unbelievable, but phenomenal none the less. Big explosions and lots of gun fights made me, and all the people I brought to this movie, hanging on the edge of my/their seats. It was gory as hell, with long slo-mo shots of dudes getting shot and blood just going everywhere; it's insane. The thing I liked most about the action in this movie (which is going to sound contrary to what I have already said) is that it was realistic in relation to who was getting beat up sort of and let me explain. In Mission: Impossible, Tom Cruise basically died and was up and in a car chase not 2 minutes later. Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart get fucked up. Like they look like two goddamn messes at the end of this whole ordeal. Jesse Eisenberg has, like, a black eye that has swollen completely shut at the end, and Kristen Steward has a truly busted ass lip and there's blood all over her teeth. They didn't make the leads invincible which I really appreciated because, since Jesse Eisenberg has been a sleeper agent for 5 years, you would expect him to not be all honed in on all his CIA skills. He gets stabbed in the gut, he gets a knife through the hand (and they show it, and yes it's cool as shit), he gets shot (grazed) in the head, and obviously punched, well, a lot. Kristen Stewart has a mad limp at the end, and her face is super bloody; she certainly doesn't get as messed up as Jesse Eisenberg, but they both need serious medical attention by the end of the movie, let's just say that.
2. Lead Chemistry
   Many reviews claimed that Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart had no chemistry. I heartily disagree. In Adventureland they were great together and the worst part of that movie was how much of an asshole Jesse Eisenberg's character was to Kristen Stewart's character! Right now, they are even filming a Woody Allen movie together, set in the 50's, where they're each other's love interest; it probably won't end well, because it's Woody Allen, but that will be their third movie as partners together so that has to say something for their on-screen chemistry. In this movie, they're cute and their characters love each other so much and, I was at least, rooting for them so hard. The obvious happens; Jesse Eisenberg has to save Kristen Stewart obviously. But you know, I was okay with it because there's a whole final scene where Jesse Eisenberg is in a grocery store, and is murdering all the people in the most badass ways, and is just trying to save Kristen Stewart; the best part is there's this 3-4 minutes in the beginning where it's just a tracking shot and it doesn't cut at all and it's the best shot of the movie; it's so creative the way they do it. But circling around to the point, you want Jesse Eisenberg to kill those dudes, not just because it's totally awesome, but also because you're inner self is like "I just want you guys to get married, have kids, and teach them how to dream" and you root for them! 

Other great parts of this movie were how so many of Jesse Eisenberg's dumb-dumb moments were so funny. There weren't exactly any "jokes" in the movie, and when there were jokes, they weren't near as funny as Jesse Eisenberg just being a goof. The end credits scene was badass and super fun to watch, and there are a few good twists and turns along the way to keep you invested in the story and not just how much fake blood was going everywhere. If you are one of those people, and it takes a certain kind of person, that can just shut of your brain and just watch a movie and appreciate it for what it is without analyzing it too bad, go see this movie, because I think you'll get real enjoyment out of it. 

Sidebar: in the top 5 moments of the movie, at the very end of the credits, like one of the last crediting lines, there is a credit for............Martial Arts Training for Mr. Eisenberg

and for some reason we all lost our shit about that.